Things that cannot be undone

Hate it when ppl barge into my room
N then start yelling for things that I have no clue about..
Made me feel so hostile n I just wanna freaking leave the supposed-to-be most comfortable place on earth..

First of all how can u expect me to know shits when I'm not informed at all..
And as for the rest I'm lazy to explain.. to cut it short it's just effing rude..

Now I'm in my room
Freaking messed up n no mood to rest d
Even though I know I need that rest.. God help me!

letting go

I knew what i wanted..

Back when i was still in Uni, i used to lie to myself to feel better about not choosing the career path that i have passion on..
I tried to convince myself that i cant make a living out of my interest and accounting is what's best for me!
Giving the fact that this industry is all so commercialised in Malaysia, i'll be risking myself to lose that passion.. if i were to make it as my day job.. 
So keeping it as a hobby may be the best way to preserve my interest..............

Today,
An ex-colleague invited me to go sing k..
I then told him i will not be free and of course we end up chatting a little after that..

From one topic leading to another.. We actually talked about the requirement in getting ACCA membership..
I was in a total B.L.U.R..haha! And clearly i havent been putting any thoughts about it at all..
What's with me?!!! I havent decide anything at all..

But honestly speaking.... Im not interested....

It got me thinking.. Is it abit too wasted?
so much of hardwork getting myself to pass the exam and here i am..
letting go the chance of getting the membership while others is putting so much effort in achieving it..

I dont know whats best for me.. I mean i only have 1 life and i DO know what i want instead.. 

I want to take up make up courses!!
I want to learn how to draw~~
I always have a huge interest in photography..
I want to exploit my art talent.. to see if i have any!
I want to do all things i want..

Late?

Am i over thinking?

I am not sure if im overly sensitive or what but this is what happen.

Just a moment ago i received a phone call from him. Telling me they (his family and him) are going to have dim sum breakfast tmr.
And this is how he said it: "my mom said tmr go dim sum wor"
So i replied "oh okay"
Then i realise and asked "wait.. are u telling me only or asking me along too?"
Him : "i think you should come"
Apparently... his mother did not specifically ask him to invite me..
Then before i could talk further our conversation was interupted by the mother talking to him so we decided to put down the phone first...

To me... this is superbly embarassing..
i wouldnt wanna be a part of anything without invitation..
Self-invite is the last thing i would do..

So when he called me back..
he said he mention about bringing me to that breakfast tmr morning n the mom said okay
but this doenst mean anything to me anymore..
insulting actually..
maybe im taking this too seriously but......... try to put on my shoes?..

he sounded dissapointed.. and im so sure.. he dont know what to do
n again he just said its up to me.. whether i want to join or not..

so freaking unfair kind of attitude..
because if the same thing happen to him..
i would've ask properly at the first place
n say, if this shit happens..
i would've explain better and fight for his every rights and not feel left out..
i would've keep asking him to come n telling him that he is thinking too much..
keeping quiet seems like agreeing silently!

so..

pride comes first

i am NOT joining the breakfast!


edited**
yes i over think......
turns out he thought we need not mention stuff like that
since we're so close already n together all the time..
but to me im merely drawing a line between his terms of "family" AND "me"


anyway,
i will still draw a line in the future..
because there are a difference..
im not "the family".. very clearly cause its a fact..